Preview of a story that is too common but not spoken about enough.
I was the ideal image
By all standards, I had no right to come close to ending my life - nonetheless even feeling depressed. I'm living in the USA, 6 feet tall, rising personal trainer, a photoshoot model, college graduate, and a honorably discharged Gulf War Marine veteran.
The future was exciting
Business was growing exponentially, I'm a father to three baby girls, was happily married, and it seemed like everybody wanted my attention.
It only took one event
Yet when the 2008 recession hit and I lost everything overnight, I crumbled and allowed the worst of myself to define me. I lost my marriage, the respect of my daughters, the admiration of everyone who used to put me on a pedestal.
The bad became my worst
My business went backwards so fast that I had to file for bankruptcy. Everything I worked hard to avoid has now happened and sure enough, I took them as my identity.
The harsh reality
Like anyone who does not know how to navigate personal crises, I started to victimize myself and forgot the values that built my success. The truth was, I did not want to start my business over, start another relationship when I felt like baggage, re-earn the respect of my daughters and most importantly: re-earn my own respect.
Slowly but surely
It was when I started winning for me that I started to slowly recognize what is my responsibility and what needs to change. Some actions that shifted my trajectory were reestablishing my business foundation and apologizing to people I hurt during my depression - while accepting any reaction they gave me.
Better than ever
Gathering the courage to get help and acknowledging my downfall was a shaking blow but the results are worth it.
Now I am a better husband to my wife, earned the respect of my daughters, and surrounded by friends who actually wants to be with me.
Not everyone comes out better or alive
By sharing my story, I want to help remove the stigma that “real men” don't have feelings or that certain men have no right to feel depressed.